I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
