I wish I could punch you in the face.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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