1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
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