I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
