This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
