Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
