Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
