i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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