So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My dick has a subreddit
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
