You just made me feel so damn special
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
