It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
