first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Where is the hickey?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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