We're like a lot better than the average bears
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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