just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
