Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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