To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
