she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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