haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We don't watch enough power rangers
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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