You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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