i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
