Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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