How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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