Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i think i have herpe
just one?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
