he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
