ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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