Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate all girls vehemently.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We need a shit load of segways right now
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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