I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
