she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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