Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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