I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
