Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Small penises have feelings too.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
