I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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