Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
