No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
