Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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