Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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