make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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