There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
