You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize