So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just blew my weed a kiss
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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