It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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