I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
