____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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