Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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