Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize