what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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