we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
