like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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