okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize