she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
