I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
