I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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