you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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