guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
