she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
