You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
false alarm, still single
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